Snowboarding Mammoth Mountain: Canyon Lodge

If there’s one thing that I’ve learned about myself this year – it’s that I will hold on to what I want with relentless, unwavering, focus. I might get anxiety, I might complain and I even might get scared. But I will get it done.

Take snowboarding for instance. I’d begun earlier in the year with my very first lesson at Mammoth Mountain at Canyon Lodge (Adult Snowboarding School at Mammoth Mountain). I remember that lesson clearly - I was absolutely terrified of being strapped in on a board. I didn’t like the straps, period. Not only that, but I learned that my body didn’t bend the way the others in the class did. I fell, got back up and mentally made notes of what I wanted to work on. I knew that my goal was clear. But, in my 40s, it might take me a different route to get there.

After that, I bought my gear at Burton Santa Monica because I saw the value in investing vs renting (realtor mindset, for sure). I took an indoor virtual snowboarding class at Virtual Snow LA (Indoor Snowboarding Lesson at Virtual Snow LA). There, my lesson teacher said that I could get on snow training at Mountain High - which was much more accessible for day trips out of Los Angeles. So, I did (Adult Group Snowboarding Lesson at Mountain High Resort).

But it was when I put my skills to the test we ended up snowboarding in a white out blizzard (Snowboarding Mammoth Mountain: Eagle Lodge), that Deja suggested that I consider buying the IKON pass. She - rightfully said - that even if I came up to Mammoth and snowboarded once, it would be a better investment to buy the pass so I wouldn’t spend the $200 day pass on one run.

So I did. And I kept at it. I picked up my pass at Palisades Tahoe when I flew up to try and snowboard there. The snow ended up being too slushy for my skill level and I pivoted with taking photos instead (Funitel Gondola Ride at Palisades Tahoe Resort). The week after that, I flew to Denver, booked a lesson at Breckenridge and took another lesson (Adult Group Snowboarding Lesson at Breckenridge Resort).

During each experience, I learned more about myself, my fear limits (falling properly and – most importantly – getting back up), how people will project their horror stories onto you (a sibling broke their femur in three places during a snowboarding lesson, torn ACL because the board and bindings weren’t fitted correctly during a lesson, etc) and even dealt with a leg sprain myself.

But still, I vowed that this was something that I would stick with. Why? Because life doesn’t end in your 40s. It just gets better, richer, more interesting and vibrant. I had a challenge – and I wanted to hit my goal.

Later in the year, the winter season began once more. This time, I vowed to be more prepared. Easing back into snowboarding with another indoor snowboarding session at Virtual Snow LA. I felt my body go into muscle memory. I was getting it.

Then, I’d had my first proper re-introduction back on the snow with a lesson with Mike Van Duyne at Copper Mountain (Level 2 Full Day Snowboarding Class at Copper Mountain). And with that, I felt ready to come back to Mammoth Mountain, return to Canyon Lodge and complete the circle from my first class to my second snowboarding experience with Deja.

Mammoth Village to Canyon Lodge

It was a chill morning when I set off from Limelight Mammoth to meet Deja at Mammoth Village. After I was dropped off by the hotel’s luxury shuttle (IDC that I could walk it - it’s the principle) up the street to Mammoth Village, Deja and I made our way to the Village gondola to Canyon Lodge.

It was here that a new fear was unlocked within me: an enclosed gondola that was rocked back and forth due to wind. As Deja and I talked as the gondola ascended elevation, I had to close my eyes during particular moments of intense swaying back and forth.

Needless to say, I almost kissed the ground when we arrived to disembark at Canyon Lodge.

Schoolyard Express Gondola to Little Bird

After falling off the gondola while getting off it, and then taking a hit to the back of the head from another lift the following week on Green Acres at Copper Mountain (always wear your helmet—period), simply looking at the Schoolyard Express gondola and realizing I had to get back on right away caused my anxiety to spike instantly.

However, ever the patient teacher (We first me during this Guided Sunset Snowshoe Tour with Tamarack Cross-Country Ski Center), Deja witness my anxiety, understood it and said that I would feel a sense of accomplishment once we were done.

So like an ever dutiful student, I clicked one book in and took a deep breath. We scanned our passes at the entrance gate and slid forward. Before I knew it, we were on the lift. I brought my breathing under control as I focused on the moment at hand.

I was just focused on one thing: I didn’t want to fall and I didn’t want to be hit by a lift again. As I saw the disembark point come into view, my anxiety spiked again.

I got into position, pointed my board forward and angled myself to push forward. And in one swift movement, I promptly fell getting off the gondola. This time, another lift didn’t hit me in the back of the head. But still, I felt a sense of embarrassment. I’d mentally prepared for success. But yet again, I felt betrayed by my body and my fear.

But unlike at Mountain High, the staff didn’t yell at me. Instead, they encouraged me and acknowledged that getting off a lift is not easy. At all. One of the staff members said that he teaches his young students to extend their left arm outward when planning to disembark, so that their body is naturally turned in the direction of the arm.

As I sat on the ground and caught my breath, I quickly shook off the feeling of vulnerability. I would eventually master it. But first, there was a green run to attend to.

Snowboarding Little Bird

Clipping out, I walked over to the benches and brought myself into focus. I had one singular goal: get down the mountain. As Deja and I got ready, I watched people get off Schoolyard Express. Some hit it at their first try. Others fell just like I did. This shifted my focus out of “I fucked up” to “hey – this is fine.”

Suddenly, I remembered the gentle encouragement that Mike had given me at Copper Mountain, the week before. When he saw me go into shocked panic mode, he gently reminded me that I had the skills for everything. It’s just a matter of trusting my body and my board to move forward. Plus, during another lesson – I learned to see falling as not a failure.

So, when I fell again – I got back up.

But this time, I personally decided to snowboard with my right foot unclipped in my step on. Instead of forcing my body to do something that it didn’t feel comfortable with – I choose to do something that made me feel more in control of the situation.

Slowly, I got use to the feeling of snowboarding on slushy snow.

Slowly, I found my confidence on my board.

When I fell, I got back up again, took a deep breath. And then – got back with it.

That time my snowboard decided to go on its own adventure down the hill

As I got into the rhythm of things, I felt myself leaning into the flowing leaf movement (thanks Mike – because why focus on falling?) more and more. However, it was during one particular fall that I sighed, got myself up and positioned my board horizontal to ready myself to clip back in.

Within a split second of me stepping on it to brace myself, I stared in shock as my board decided to go on its on adventure down the hill. In a millisecond, I had likewise fallen and was sliding down on my butt as well.

It was a sight of comedy, for sure. Both Deja and I were shocked and likewise amused as my board slid away from me, down the run and to the left. It stoped in a group of rocks and Deja kindly retrieved it for me. As I made my way down – first stopping the slide and then walking, we were both simply stunned.

Once I met up with her and got my board, we just burst into laughter. At this point, I’d literally experienced all of my fears within two weeks: repeatedly falling out of a lift, hitting my head and watching in amusement as my board took it’s own journey without me. Luckily, Little Bird was quiet and I – again – go on with the process of recentering myself, clipping in and getting shit done.

Locking in: reaching Flow State

Looking back at my time at Copper Mountain, there was one thing that stood out that Mike told the group:

Gaining speed in snowboarding is like earning money: you build it up as potential, then spend it to move faster, build confidence, and do cool things on your board.

Mike Van Duyne, Copper Mountain Snowboard Instructor

During a moment break, I reached into my pocket to get my phone and take a photo of Deja. Within moments, a notice popped onto my phone – an agent that originally said that they were writing an offer on my listing had a client that was choosing instead to rent instead of buy.

I don’t know what exactly clicked in my mind. But in that moment, my body relax and I locked it in. My annoyance and anxiety felt outside of my body – and not sitting in it. After that moment, I did my longest run of heel stopping, gliding across the run and balancing I’d done all morning. Suddenly everything that Mike said the previous week – of staying centered on the board, of trusting the process, bending my knees and guiding the board where I wanted to go – clicked. In one moment, every teacher I had during my journey – locked in.

In short, when I had a situation that took me out of being hyper aware of my body, it allowed my body to gain speed, move faster and build confidence. The resulting cool thing? I flowed on the snow.

Apres Snowboarding at Grizzly Bar

Once Deja and I made it down to the end of the run, I felt elated. I’d done it. Even on slushy ass shit snow, I’d done it. And now it was time to celebrate.

We ended with Hot Toddy Cocktails and incredibly deep and motivating conversation at Grizzly Bar at Canyon Lodge.

As we made our way back down the gondola to Mammoth Village and partied ways until dinner at Dos Alas CubaRican Cafe & Lounge, It dawned on me that snowboarding was never really the point. It was simply the clearest mirror. Every lift ride, every fall, every moment of fear forced me to choose between retreating or recommitting.

And each time, I chose to stay in the moment, get up and try again.

This year reminded me that progress doesn’t come from eliminating anxiety or waiting for perfect conditions. Truly, it comes from showing up anyway, adapting when needed, and trusting that momentum will follow commitment. I didn’t conquer any of the mountain flawlessly. In fact, I felt more than I flowed. But I moved forward, and that matters far more.

Because wanting something deeply, staying with it relentlessly, and finding flow in the mess – that’s not just how you learn to snowboard.

That’s how you live well.

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