L’Aviation Restaurant at Faaʻa International Airport

Flying standby feels –  to me – like what I imagine cocaine must feel like. There’s a rush of uncertainty, a sharp release of control, and a deep, vibrating sense that from the moment you book your ticket to when you arrive at the gate, that nothing is in your hands anymore.

I’d landed in Tahiti with my friend Sefora, a Delta flight attendant. I’d joined her standby to Kona, Hawaii the previous year. But Tahiti? It was a crash course in surrendering to the unknown. Sure, I had hotel reservations in Tahiti and Bora Bora – but actually making it onto the flight? That was up to Daddy Delta. Luckily, Delta said yes.

However, the return flight had different plans in store. After arriving at the airport around 4:45 p.m. for my 6:30pm flight, I was told I couldn’t enter the secure area yet.

“Come back at 5:50 to find out if you have a seat,” the gate agent said.

Needing to calm my nerves and eat, I wandered off to find sustenance – and found L’Aviation Restaurant.

It was exactly what I needed: a seat, a menu, and a brief illusion of control.

I ordered the TAHITIAN MAI TAI and GRILLED STEAK (Beef rump steak 7oz with Roquefort sauce) with FRIES.

When it arrived, I felt slightly better. It was filling and what I needed as I repeatedly refreshed my flight’s standby list.

I would like to take this time to say: to the people who literally check into their flight only 70 minutes before departure – you are absolutely psychotic. Who raised you? Wolves in the wild? How do you survive life with such last minute carelessness? How do you wait until the last minute to screw over EVERYONE else on standby?

You must just mainline the soul crushing pain and anxiety you cause and orgasm when you feel the energetic terror that people like me feel when their secured position of “Okay, I’m going to make this flight” suddenly transforms to “wait – what the actual fuck? Who are these 10 new people who JUST checked in for this flight? And how did they push my standby position THAT far down?”

Back at the Delta baggage counter / stand-in for a ticketing desk, I was in a better mental place. I forced a sense of calm and truly held faith that I would be on the flight. Names were being called and people were getting paper tickets and told to rush through security.

I had hope – until I refreshed the standby list one last time… and realized every name above me had just been cleared. The agent shouted “There are no more seats available! The flight is completely full!” to the rest of us standing there.

I was literally next. Next – and Daddy Delta said “Not today!”

As they actually, physically rolled down the gate to the Delta counter, I managed to get it an “Okay, what next can I do?” to one of the gate agents.  The agent said, essentially: “None. No Delta flights until Thursday.” It was Tuesday night.

I could have laughed. Except, I was so shocked. But I believe in the magic of the pivot. “This or something better, always,” I remind myself.

Then – like a sign from the universe – a kind man who had made the flight walked over, pressed 20,000 XPF into my hand, asked if I was going to be okay and when I confirmed I would be, said “Here, take this and buy yourself dinner or a drink.” He then told me that United had a flight heading out in a few hours. And, my friend Adam, on his own vacation in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, texted me that Air France had a flight out the next morning.

“This or something better, always,” I reminded myself.

So after an exhausted check at the United counter to see if the next flight out had seats available, I got my phone out and bought a one way ticket to Los Angeles, via a stop in San Francisco.

Daddy Delta might have said “No.” But, Auntie American Express and Mother United said “Yes.”

Bag checked and confirmed boarding pass in hand, I made my way – once again – back to L’Aviation for a victory PINA COLADA. Paid for by a stranger’s kindness.

As I sat, exhausted but with a plan in place, I was overwhelmed with gratitude. During all of this, texts from Adam in Cabo San Lucas and Sefora during her layover in Montana came through, with both of them offering solutions, calm, and encouragement in real time. I didn’t plan to get stranded in Tahiti. But if I had to be, I’m glad I had them with me in spirit.

I’m lucky. Truly. The right people, at the right time. Always.

- -